In the past few months, I've been to several funerals, which in and of itself is pretty darn depressing. I generally try to avoid any sort of funeral involving a viewing, but my grandfather passed away recently and I couldn't exactly skip his service for my own selfish reasons, but... you know, viewings creep me the hell out. I can only imagine that perhaps it gives folks some semblance of closure to see the shell of their loved one laying in a casket, but it makes my skin crawl. Perhaps it's a practice that's been perpetuated out of tradition. But then, I don't really understand the point of a grave site either. My sister died when I was 3 years old. She was only a year old, and had been plagued with medical issues since her birth. We didn't speak about it a whole lot growing up, but since I had kids I've had a few conversations with my parents about the gut-wrenching experience of losing a child. The one thing my mom has mentioned several times is that, when she looked at Amelia in her crib, she just knew that that was no longer Amelia; she saw the body as a shell of the child she knew, a child who had gone elsewhere. She and my dad felt no need to buy a casket for this shell, or place it on display for others to see. They quietly had her cremated, and had a service in her memory.
With that said, I don't begrudge anyone their need to participate in such things. I imagine it gives many people comfort to be able to visit a grave site; I know people who visit their relatives' graves every week without fail. I like to think that it's because of some internal need rather than out of some sense of duty to the dead. As I understand it, my grandfather actually wanted to be cremated, and expressed that to several people while he was alive. My grandmother chose to buy a casket and lay him out for all to see; it offered her some sort of comfort, I suppose, but seeing his body, shrunken, covered in cake makeup, was more disturbing to me than I can express. The only benefit I can ever find in the practice is to the funeral homes selling products and services for thousands upon thousands of dollars.
I would like to state now, on this public forum (which a total of two people may actually read): DO NOT BURY ME IN THE GROUND. Have a memorial service in my honor to include the Durufle Requiem. Donate my organs, donate my body to science, burn me to a crisp and keep me in an urn on your mantel, or, even better yet.... turn me into a gemstone (can you believe they can actually do that now??? SCIENCE FTW!). Heck, if you want some real entertainment, go the whole Viking funeral route: put me in a fabulous boat, set me afloat, and send flaming arrows at me until I 'splode. Let my body be useful after what makes me human has disappeared into the ether, but please don't confuse my shell with me.