It settles like dust into my marrow,
Weightier than you’d expect
Slows my steps until I become an iron giant
Knee creak, drag heavy foot on heavy toe to fling it forward as momentum slaps it back to earth
It’s the very definition of insanity, really, this vapid optimism for the impossible thing, over and over and over,
Only to each month taste the acrid sting of reality
It shouldn’t be a surprise, should it? At this point?
I want nothing more than to free myself of the wretched claws of hope but I don’t know how
I don’t know how
I don’t know how to wriggle from its grasp whole or breathing