She hoarded happiness like wealth
Not to have, but to hold
Leaving little room for much else, really
Hoard it for a rainy day, a special event,
Hoard it for a wedding
An anniversary
A child
But life came up mostly empty.
Sometimes she opened up the box, just to gaze
Admire
Sneak a spoonful? A spoonful’s enough
Just enough to smear the smile back on
Save, don’t spend
She thought about it once
(Every waking thought, every hour, every day)
But when she tried to pour it out from time to time,
So much slipped through her fingers like fine sand
And what was left looked pallid and pathetic
When she could find the courage to share it, to bolster it,
She was found unworthy
Wanting
Unwanted
Lacking the vital ingredients to make her whole
And so she poured it out,
Desperate for a funnel
My daughter will never hang her life upon another
My daughter will make her own
My daughter will fight
My daughter will know her worth by her own depths
My daughter will spend and spend and spend
And never wait on someone else’s apathetic precipice
Because we can’t take it wherever souls go when they crumble to dust
What do we leave behind when our souls crumble to dust
And nothing is worth remembering